I understand the value of how stillness and silence is good for our health. And not talking. Our brains and body need downtime for rest and clarity and a break from our often chaotic lives. Many of us do not spend enough time on our self-care. I have interviewed over 50 women for my next book and many of them say they are working at having some quiet days.
Spending time in silence has been found to have positive effects on the body reducing blood pressure, boosting the immune system, reducing blood cortisol, promoting hormone regulation and prevention of arterial plaque formation. Psychological benefits of silence can include enhanced creativity, focus, self-control, self-awareness, problem solving, and perspective. If our mind is clearer, the calmer environment may help us sleep better.
In my first ever podcast, my advice to my younger self was to be more still and quiet. I love the chaotic nature of my life, but I’m craving stillness. Bringing up three kids on my own for over 10 years has made this impossible. But now is the time as my twins have flown the nest, and I just have my eldest son living with me. I am scheduling days of silence.
Yesterday I did my first one. It was not easy, felt uncomfortable and there is much room for improvement.
I decided my day of silence would mean no social media, no phone, no talking, no TV. I realised my first issue when I found myself already checking my WhatsApp first thing in the morning. And I have to admit that in the evening, I checked my WhatsApp again. Why could I not sign off for one day?
I spent most of the day writing the chapter on exercise for my next book. I felt focused and productive.
But when my son walked in the room I almost said hello to him!
In the morning I went off to Body Pump and Pilates at my local sports centre. I was wondering if this counted as being silent but at most silent retreats, a yoga class is part of the schedule, so I thought this would be OK. Then I realised the first problem. People from the class before me said hello and thank you when they held the door open. And I could not reply. I felt rude. In the class my friends were trying to say hello. I had warned a few of them but I had to have a note on my phone to explain what I was doing. Obviously they thought it was hilarious as I’m usually very vocal and the teacher announced it to both classes. She said Christmas had come early as I was going to be quiet. Not sure how to take that.
I also had to pop to the supermarket as I was in the middle of making sourdough and ran out of bread flour. If I go to the big Tesco I always meet people so I went to a small store so I could be anonymous.
For part of the day I enjoyed being creative in the kitchen – making bread, a roasted cauliflower soup, and a prawn stir fry. But I wanted to be more creative, so I went for a walk to forage some things for my Christmas wreath and I was very happy with the result.
I rarely find enough time to read but I managed to read for a few hours.
I can really see the advantage of going to a silent retreat. A silent retreat creates a space for silence, reflection, and mindfulness with less distractions and no need to explain to people around me what I am doing. It was probably harder doing this at home as there was too much of my daily life. I do not think I was still or quiet enough. I meant to do a few meditations, and I totally forgot. I went for a short walk but I should have gone for a longer one. I have no idea why I am not walking every afternoon when I work at home. I live in a beautiful village surrounded by wonderful nature. And yesterday was a beautiful day.
I want my next day of silence, in December, to be more silent. I want to connect with my thoughts, emotions and values without distractions. I’m going to try to improve my digital detox and spend more time in nature. Yesterday I worked too much. I do want to write on my silent day but I must not answer emails or go off on tangents. Going to the sport centre proved difficult and was very noisy so next time I will do a workout at home and I will do yoga and body balance rather than something too manic. I want to spend more time alone with my thoughts in silence and do several meditations. I think this will give me clarity and a clearer understanding about my life. And I will cook and do something creative.
What I learnt from yesterday was I need to set some priorities for 2025 which will be going on my vision board. More self-care, silence, reading, walking, creativity and meditations. And scheduled breaks from social media and people. Can I do this at least once a month?
Welldone Professor